i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
