Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
