just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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