eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
