i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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