I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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