return my video game
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
