i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
