I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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