Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
