She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
3pm strippers are depressing
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Randomize
