You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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