you guys were way drunker than both of me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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