I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
