omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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