Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
