Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
