I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
operation harelip BJ is a go
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
