I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
