We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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