question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
