You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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