She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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