But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
