Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
please don't ironically join a cult
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