i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
