thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
