What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
