I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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