i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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