Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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