he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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