a queef is a wish your heart makes.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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