I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
