Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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