She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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