im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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