But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
