It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize