Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
