just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
