I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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