Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
