Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
