Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
