My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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