i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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