yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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