Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
