she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
